Journal entry

I should be able to squeeze in a manicure after my workout at the spa if I drop off Missy a little early to her violin practice. If I had Reece pick her up afterwards, I could get some shopping in. Those stilettos have been calling my name all week– I just have to have them.

Do I really want Reece to pick up Missy? We’ve only been married a few months. 

How could I not trust my new husband? 

Where does women’s intuition fit in? Maybe I’m just being a drama queen. Reece is a good provider. What is it again that he does? Import/export? Antiquities broker? Why do I care? I’ve never even seen his warehouse, and his associates are a little scary. There I go again! I know I’m not supposed to compare, but Bear never made much money, and he always seemed to be searching for something. There was something about his heart, though. I always felt secure with him. I’m not sure where I stand with Reece; sometimes he feels so cold. I know Bear would love Missy, but after what he did… Well there’s a reason I haven’t spoken to him for 10 years.

So what if I’m beautiful? I really don’t mind men gawking at me – it’s better than being invisible. I don’t have a problem admitting that I’m pretty; I don’t know why other women would. It does make it easier for me to get my way.

 Missy… My little virtuoso. She’s so… pure. Sometimes it feels like she is the mommy, and I’m the little girl that she’s setting a good example for. I love to hear her play violin. Listening is almost euphoric. It’s not just the pride of a mother – other people have told me the same thing. She certainly has a gift.

Who am I, exactly? I’m a mother (not my strongest roll); trophy wife and shopper extraordinaire.

I hope there’s more to me than that.

I am Jennifer Bernell.